Friday, May 7, 2010

Pets and their embarassing ways

Has your pet ever embarrassed you to the point that you didn't even want to show your face?!?!?!  This sweet, happy puppy could never do that, right??  WRONG!!

Gus and I adopted Roxey in June of 09 and from what we could tell she was just the sweetest, most loving dog, who really didn't get herself in to trouble.  That all changed on labor day weekend.  Gus and I went to dinner Sunday night and when we came back our sweet dog was acting all sorts of weird.  She didn't want to go outside but being only 7 months old I knew she should need to use the bathroom.  I forced her to go outside but once we got in the backyard I realized she couldn't stand but for more than a second or two.  Her back legs kept falling to one side.  I brought her back inside and something about her was just off.  It took me a few minutes to realize her eyes were dilated.  I tried shining a flash light in them but nothing worked.  This is the point where I start to freak out a little.  I'd never owned a dog and I wasn't sure what to do. 

Take it from me, DO NOT go google your dog's symptoms.  Your little freak out will turn into full on panic when the internet tells you that your dog has neurological problems and is going to die.  NO LIE.  I figure out the emergency vet is only about 3 miles from our house.  We throw Roxey in the car and I drive like mad.  They immediately look at her and tell me she must have eaten something toxic.  great.  The plan of action is to give her an IV to help flush her system and run a urine toxicity test to see what she ate.  We'll have to leave her there over night.  At this point, I'm in tears.  What have I done to this poor dog?  Maybe I'm not cut out to be a puppy mommy. 

Gus and I go home and try to get some sleep.  I just couldn't sleep though.  Finally, about 1:30am the vet calls to tell me the tests are back and my sweet, innocent, happy puppy, tested positive for marijuana.  I don't think I said anything for a minute or two.  Where the heck did my dog get marijuana?  So my dog wasn't sick, she was high??  Beyond that though, I am mor.ti.fied.  The vet tells me she should be ready to go home by about 10am. 

After a very restless night of sleeping wondering how my dog got high, Gus and I search the internet for pictures of marijuana plants.  We then start scouring our backyard for any plants that resemble what we saw on the internet but found nothing. 

It's time to go pick Mary Jane, er Roxey, up at the vet and I'm convinced the cops will be waiting for us when we get there.  We walk in and tell them we are there to pick up Roxey.  The receptionist goes to the back and this is what I envision the conversation went like

Receptionist: Roxey's parents are here
Vet Tech: Who??
Receptionist:  Stoner dogs parents
Vet Tech: Oh, stoner dog.  Should we call the cops?  Do they look high? 
Receptionist: They seem normal but you never know these days. 
Vet Tech:  Are you sure it's safe to send this poor dog back home with them??

So maybe that isn't how it went but that's how I pictured it.  We then sat there for over an hour waiting for them to bring Roxey up.  At that point I'm totally convinced they've called cops.  Turns out, they didn't though. 

Gus and I have since determined it was not marijuana but some mushrooms growing in our backyard.  Roxey became obsessed with the area they were growing in and they were so tiny we could never find them until we were plucking them out of her mouth.  She did get high several more times though.  Honestly, it was pretty funny.  She'd run around the house like a crazy woman, running into doors, walls, cabinets, etc and then she would just crash. 

I now see the funny in the story but that night I was so embarrassed I thought I'd never tell anyone what happened.  I had put in my fb status that we had to leave her at the e-vet and then I thought I'm going to have to come up with a lie, I can't tell the truth.  Now she's just the butt of jokes though. 

What has your pet done to embarrass you?? 


  1. That's pretty darn hilarious now. So far (knock on wood), our kitty hasn't done anything to embarrass yet. I am sure our day will come though.